Hi,

The biggest problem I have in speaking in public (or private, for that matter) is when I talk on a subject that is emotionally intense for me. I feel myself starting to choke up and I have to fight back tears. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to control this? I know it's easy to suggest that I avoid those subjects, but that's not a solution. The subjects I speak about are personal experiences and they are the focus of my talks.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

The tears are result of your intense sensitivity to what you are talking about and I think practicing it in front of the mirror will let yourself (together with your emotion) get use to it (topic).

Hi.

Some speakers have the same problem with laughing about stuff they're talking about.

The answer's simple. Practice until you get de-sensitized to speaking in public on that issue. This does not mean you've become any less sensitive to the subject itself - it just means you can get through a performance.

You need to realize it is just a performance for an audience. They expect you to be in charge while you're speaking, partly because they expect you to help them make their lives better. If you're unable to speak because you're all choked up it may invoke some sympathy from some in the audience, for a few moments maybe - but pretty soon they'll just get annoyed.

Remember your talk is about them - not about you.

I definitely would not avoid talking about these subjects, because if you feel strongly about them, then they're important to you, and you've got a very good chance of moving an audience emotionally.

Just make sure you move the audience in a positive way for them - and not just to pity for you.

I agree with the above responses - it is hard to talk about things you feel very strongly about, especially when they make you want to cry. This is something, like laughter, that's very hard to stop once you feel it coming on. Learn to detatch emotion from your entire speech - don't deliver it as a robot, but focus on silly things like the words, the audience, your voice, and not so much on what you're saying. For this to work, you need to know your speech off by heart, but this should be part of your preparation anyway.

Good luck

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James
Motivational and Business Speakers

Just another thought which emphasizes why you need to keep talking about this stuff.

A former World Champion of public speaking says "People want to find out what you know and how you learned it."

He stresses telling stories in the 1st person - in other words with you in them.

Go for it!

Very simple forget that matter which makes you cry and think about something else make your life happy.

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Business telecoms|Telecom solutions