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We Like The People We Help

Posted 01-15-2008 at 03:27 AM by Bob Sommers
Updated 01-15-2008 at 03:30 AM by Bob Sommers
Behavioral scientists tell us that you are more likely to like the people you help, than you are to like the people who help you. It's counter intuitive to everything you've ever learned about likability, but it's true. Let me explain.

If we go back to the overriding principle of likable, this concept will make a lot more sense. "We like people who make us feel good about ourselves." That's the acid test. Let's dip the law, "We like the people we help" into the acid and see how it fairs.

To start, please answer this question honestly. Are you more likely to feel good about yourself when you help someone fix a flat tire, or are you more likely to feel good about yourself when someone helps you fix a flat tire? The answer is obviously ... when you help them.

Now let's take this concept a step further. Do you feel better about yourself when you help someone fix a flat tire and they pay you for your service, or do you feel better about yourself when they compensate you with a thank you and their sincere appreciation? The answer, undoubtedly, is when you're compensated with a thank you and without the money.

We all like how we feel when we help someone, and we feel even better about ourselves when we provide the assistance without compensation. More importantly, we tend to like the person we help ... especially if they appreciate what we did for them.

If you want your customers and prospects to like you, give them an opportunity to do something for you. It could be as simple as allowing them to buy you lunch or a cup of coffee. Sometimes it's that simple.

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  1. Old
    Bob, I was discussing this likeable stuff with a good friend and brilliant "mind guy" the other day. His name is Jim Hoke - do a youtube search for him. I'd highly recommend him as a guest too. One of the points he brought up was first and foremost to be liked you have to be "like - able", able to be liked. I thought it was interesting. I've been intrigued by it ever since you brought it up to me. It's such a cool topic and so germane to all of our lives. From what I can tell you've got it down pretty well yourself. I consider you to be extremely like-able... TTY Later - keep up the good work over here at RE. NOTE: you may have already discussed this in your content (like-able) but if not I figured it was food for thought.

    Your Friend, Dan Nichols - America's Strategic Plan & Business Launch Expert
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    Posted 04-04-2008 at 12:08 AM by America's Business Launch Expert America's Business Launch Expert is offline
  2. Old
    Ooops a little clarity not just able to be liked but you need to allow yourself to be liked.
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    Posted 04-04-2008 at 12:09 AM by America's Business Launch Expert America's Business Launch Expert is offline
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