We Like The People We Help

Behavioral scientists tell us that you are more likely to like the people you help, than you are to like the people who help you. It's counter intuitive to everything you've ever learned about likability, but it's true. Let me explain.

If we go back to the overriding principle of likable, this concept will make a lot more sense. "We like people who make us feel good about ourselves." That's the acid test. Let's dip the law, "We like the people we help" into the acid and see how it fairs.

To start, please answer this question honestly. Are you more likely to feel good about yourself when you help someone fix a flat tire, or are you more likely to feel good about yourself when someone helps you fix a flat tire? The answer is obviously ... when you help them.

Now let's take this concept a step further. Do you feel better about yourself when you help someone fix a flat tire and they pay you for your service, or do you feel better about yourself when they compensate you with a thank you and their sincere appreciation? The answer, undoubtedly, is when you're compensated with a thank you and without the money.

We all like how we feel when we help someone, and we feel even better about ourselves when we provide the assistance without compensation. More importantly, we tend to like the person we help ... especially if they appreciate what we did for them.

If you want your customers and prospects to like you, give them an opportunity to do something for you. It could be as simple as allowing them to buy you lunch or a cup of coffee. Sometimes it's that simple.